Patton Oswalt

Bed bugs brought home by Arthur from a vacation force Doug and Carrie out of the house while a creepy exterminator does his job. Meanwhile, Spence and Danny argue over…

Doug and his pals rent an apartment to use as a secret hang-out. Meanwhile, Carrie goes to great lengths to please her newest client, Kirstie Alley.

After she beats him and his friends in a friendly poker game, Doug convinces his mother to try to enter a high-stakes tournament. Meanwhile, Carrie gets Spence to help her…

Doug borrows a baby from Danny to prove to Carrie that they’re ready for a family. Meanwhile, Arthur feels he deserves to be a coffee shop’s ”customer of the month.”

Doug and Carrie are roped into helping out at their church during the holidays: he guards the manger, while she tries to bake a cake. Also, Arthur and Spence attempt…

Doug’s karaoke performance gets him an e-mail stalker.

Doug and Carrie hear conflicting reasons why Deacon and Kelly are not interested in becoming neighbors. Meanwhile, Danny and Spence each have their eye on a beautiful Albanian girl, who…

A trip to a bed & breakfast becomes more than Doug and Carrie can handle. Meanwhile, Arthur has a romantic dilemma of his own.

Doug’s frequent hair salon visits make Carrie suspicious. Meanwhile, Spence has his own adventures en route to a sci-fi convention.

A sandwich named for Deacon at Coopers ruffles Doug’s feathers. Meanwhile, Carrie schemes to prevent Holly from moving to Manhattan.

Doug and Carrie both have feelings of not being entirely popular at their workplaces, and both overcompensate to rectify the situation

Carrie finds out that while dating, Doug lied about getting a job to get her to sleep with him.

Doug convinces Carrie to take pole dancing lessons, but is disappointed when she puts on a show for him. Meanwhile, Arthur worries her new hobby is a result of his…

Junior attempts to rob the Tower of London, but accidentally tries to rob a movie set replica. Kim and Ron go to stop them and perform an extreme mid air…

When Doug and Carrie’s neighbor passes away, their grief is quickly replaced by hope when they realize his empty residence could prove to be a profitable investment. In their dash…

Doug lures Carrie to a timeshare sales ski weekend where the strength of their relationship is tested under the intense sales pressure. On the same excursion, Spence and Danny feel…

A work event in a ballpark skybox leads Carrie, Doug and his buddies out to the game – but when an important client finds fault with Doug, Spence has to…

Chester Yapsby has stolen a top-secret project that is capable of making insects grow to incredible heights. Kim is contacted for the assignment because she never fails to get a…

While eating at a new cafe with Deacon, Doug manages to agitate their waitress so much that she demands they fight once her shift ends. Meanwhile, Carrie asks Holly to…

When Deacon snubs his usual boys for a new African-American friend, Doug desperately tries to find his own ”roots” in an attempt to win him back. Meanwhile, Carrie runs her…

When delivering a package to his old high school, Doug meets his old football coach, and against Carrie’s wishes, begins to return to the school on a regular basis as…

Carrie recalls what Doug said to her when they were dating that made her want to marry him, but then she learns a horrifying truth about that night; Danny falls…

When the Heffernans begin working out with the Ferrigno’s, Doug secretly makes a pact with Lou so he can sit around instead of working out.

Doug decides to pursue a long-abandoned dream to become a bartender, much to Carrie’s angst. Although she starts to warm up the the idea, Doug soon realizes that dreams are…

Carrie uses her extra income to hire a maid, but Doug feels left out and decides to hire his own help in the form of Spence’s mom, Veronica. Soon, Veronica…

After ten years of marriage, Doug finds a new love – in the form of designer cologne that Carrie can’t stand, but his scent-ual affair forces Carrie to demonstrate bad…

When a fight causes a rift in the Palmer/Heffernan relationship, Doug and Carrie attempt to get back at the Palmers by getting a new couple as friends. When their search…

Doug digs a deeper hole for himself when he fakes a heart attack to avoid angering Carrie for not knowing her friend’s name.

Carrie and Doug have a conflict of interest when Carrie begins to stay late every night at work but it leaves Doug to feel neglected.

In an attempt to go to Las Vegas for a weekend with the guys, Doug begins to build up credit by taking Carrie to a spa. Meanwhile, after hearing about…

When Kim and Ron go to stop Professor Dementor from stealing from a top-secret research laboratory, Ron inadvertently catches Dementor’s “Bondo-Ball” in his pocket, which he accidentally triggers later that…

While Kim and Ron are at the Museum, she discovers that one of her ancestors was a thief and she decides to figure out what really happened in order to…

After Holly gets kicked out of her apartment, Arthur insists that she stay with him in the basement until she finds a new place, making Doug realize the benefits of…

A bedridden Carrie gets Doug to team with Arthur for a shuffleboard tournament, but his skills aren’t to Arthur’s liking. Meanwhile, Carrie pretends to continue being sick so that Holly…

What starts out as a valiant effort to win back the heart of Spence’s ex-girlfriend, Denise, quickly goes south as Danny gets a sudden case of lockjaw and the group…

Doug sabotages Carrie’s attempts to start hanging out with her co-workers by scaring them off with several crude techniques. Meanwhile, Spence and Danny realize that women like men who take…

Doug and Deacon’s relationship hits a speed bump when Deacon unknowingly befriends Doug’s grade school archenemy.

When Arthur tries to sell Spence his adjoining burial plot, he somehow winds up selling it to Spence’s mother, Veronica. Doug is assigned a new delivery route and is freaked…

In another case of ””Be careful what you wish for,”” Timmy wishes the world was more like a Crimson Chin comic book, and Cosmo and Wanda turn him and all…

After countless times of babysitting Deacon and Kelly’s children, Doug and Carrie feel that Deacon and Kelly should return the favor and babysit Arthur every once in a while. Deacon…

When Kim is sprayed with some pollen that causes her to vanish more and more each time she blushes, she must stay at home while Ron and Wade work together…

Several of the Aqua Teens’ enemies gather on the moon to plot their next move. After a long while, things don’t seem to progress and all that has been managed…

Doug finds it unbearable working with Carrie when she takes a temporary job at his company during the holidays. Arthur tries to get various friends to pose for a Christmas…

DP and Skeeter, fraternity brothers from outer space, get lost along the way back home and crash on earth. They quickly become unwanted and Skeeter pulls out but leaves DP…

It’s Thanksgiving in the Heffernan household and while Carrie cooks dinner for ten people, Doug lets a stranger into the house to use the phone. He is convinced the stranger…

Carrie fears that her new gynecologist will drop her as a patient after she recommends Danny do some landscaping for him and Danny overcharges the doctor for the work.

When Doug hears from Carrie that Deacon’s ex-wife wants to reunite with him after a two-year separation, he can’t decide whether or not to give Deacon the heads-up. When Deacon…

During a romantic dinner, Doug is inspired to proclaim his love to Carrie. Carrie is taken by his gesture and suggests that they renew their vows. The two find that…

When Arthur handily beats Doug in several games of ping-pong, Doug decides to test his skills on Carrie, but is humiliated when he loses once again. In a desperate attempt…

Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic weekend away at a resort. Doug and Carrie try to get over an argument they’ve been having, but only make things worse. Deacon finds…

The sixth season opens with a newly svelte Doug and a surprisingly jealous Carrie, who just can’t hide her disdain when people constantly compliment her hubby on his weight loss….

Since Doug never gets what he wants from Carrie, he uses Arthur to ask Carrie for them, so he gets what he wants. Meanwhile, Spence is first on line to…

Carrie learns from Janet that Doug had a dog when he was 11, that they still have today, and Doug is 38! Janet admits to Carrie that the dog died,…

Ron realizes that he is not technically a man yet, but Kim tells him that he is. Meanwhile, Kim and Ron must stop a villian from stealing a special ring.

Carrie can’t stop buying expensive clothes, and then returning them within a few days. Spence’s new girlfriend is afraid of his dog and tells him to decide who he wants,…

Carrie gets tickets to an opera but Doug doesn’t want to go so he has Deacon help him lie to get out of it. Carrie catches him in the lie…

The mold problem in the Heffernan household grows and Doug and Carrie find out to fix the problem will cost them $12,000! Doug, with his tail between his legs, goes…

Doug and Carrie are having fun on their vacation with their neighbors in St. Croix, but once Arthur calls with a quote on the current mold problem in the house,…

Doug cannot spend time with Carrie on Valentines Day, because he has to deliver penguins, with Deacon, from one zoo to another. Yet, along the way, they run into some…

Carrie wins 4 company seats to Knicks games, but insists on taking a couple over Doug’s friends. But when they realize Carrie’s favored couple doesn’t work for Doug, and Doug’s…

At a wedding, Doug takes a naughty picture with a disposable camera supplied by the bride and groom. After letting Danny take the blame, and after confessing to a priest,…

Doug and Carrie run into Doug’s high school girlfriend, Margie, at his favorite sports bar. Carrie gets jealous when she discovers that Doug’s mother would rather spend time with his…

Doug’s bowling team prepares for a tournament, while Carrie agrees to babysit Mr. Kaplan’s son, in hopes of furthering her career. But when Doug throws out a mercy flirt and…

Doug and Carrie run into Father McAndrew at the fish market. They exchange pleasantries and as they are parting ways, Father McAndrew tells them that he would love to see…

Mike and Debi, a bright young couple, move in next door to Doug and Carrie. The Heffernans don’t make the greatest first impression as an argument they’re having can be…

In the first half-hour, Doug believes that his new dentist –who once had a crush on Carrie–is hurting him on purpose. The second story, which marks the show’s 100th episode,…

As his high school reunion approaches, Doug worries that Carrie’s new hairdo will make her look like a librarian, rather than his usually sexy wife. Hoping to show Carrie off…

When Carrie’s new afterwork routine of apple martinis-along with an accompanying much more relaxed attitude-come to an abrupt end, Doug and Arthur join forces to keep her drunk, a course…

Doug’s parents visit while Carrie’s on a business trip and take over running the house, making Doug feel like a kid again. Also, Arthur tries to strike it rich by…

Doug starts to dream more seriously about running his own sandwich shop now that his Uncle Stu has generously offered him a large sum of money to see him realize…

Doug and Carrie find an old, unopened wedding present – a gravy boat – from Doug’s third cousin Ron and his wife Marcia. Little did they know that inside was…

Carrie gets jealous when Doug’s attention is focused on Spence’s new girlfriend, Becky, a professional chef. It’s not her looks. It’s not her personality, it’s her food! Doug can’t get…

Carrie’s boss, Pruzan, has his first big case as partner, and Carrie is overwhelmed with work. To complicate matters more, the case involves testimony from a delivery driver and Pruzan…

As Doug and Carrie’s plane makes an unexpectedly rough landing, Doug takes the only available oxygen mask for himself and doesn’t think twice about Carrie. She is hurt that he…

While cleaning out the Heffernan freezer, Carrie comes across the top tier of her and Doug’s wedding cake, and reflects back to the time when they got married. As she…

Now that Arthur is back from the hospital, Carrie thinks that it is a good idea that she and Doug get life insurance. She wants to be sure that Arthur…

Doug rear-ends Kelly and Deacon’s car and he and Carrie insist that they personally pay for the damage so they can leave the insurance company out of it. But, when…

Doug thinks he has come up with the perfect birthday gift for Carrie: laser eye surgery. That is until Carrie ends up nearly blind from the operation.

The Heffernans are again thinking about getting pregnant, just four months after Carrie’s miscarriage. But there’s one problem: Arthur. Now that his last friend from the senior center has moved…

Doug tells Carrie not to panic about having the baby, that he will take care of all her ”burden,” so he takes on a second job so that they can…

Carrie discovers that she is pregnant and she is panicked that the timing is all-wrong. Meanwhile, Deacon and Kelly begin to reconcile and Spence is left out in the cold…

Doug’s Uncle Stu asks him to get his son, Danny, a job at IPS. Doug doesn’t want him working there but he doesn’t want to look bad to the family…

Doug and Carrie meet the neighbors after a hurricane destroys both of their backyards. Carrie breaks their hearts by telling the truth and rejects the idea of a combined backyard….

During the Palmer’s separation, Doug and Carrie go to the movies with Kelly while Deacon takes the kids. While there, Carrie runs into a co-worker who seems interested in Kelly….

Doug feels sorry for Arthur and agrees to let him go to a cocktail lounge instead of to the weekly dance at a senior center. When Carrie finds out, she…

After Deacon and Kelly’s separation, Carrie begins to wonder about her own marriage. She and Doug agree to put their sex lives on hold for a few weeks because Carrie…

Doug becomes jealous when Carrie makes the mistake of telling him she finds Deacon attractive; The gang go paintballing to celebrate Deacon’s birthday, which turns into a war of jealousy.

Doug sets up his sister with Carrie’s boss so that he can watch the Super Bowl on a high-definition TV.

Doug and Carrie rush to a friend’s wedding before the bride and groom realize they’re not there; Meanwhile, Arthur plans a scheme involving Spence.

After a great Thanksgiving, Doug and Carrie tries to recall their first Thanksgiving together who said, ”I Love You” first. They consult Arthur who quickly recalls some other Thanksgivings and…

Doug feels the urge for a new car and against Carrie’s advice buys it for himself only to find out moments later that the workers at the IPS company are…

Doug and Carrie face problems when they try to decide where to go on vacation.

Doug shows his romantic side as Carrie thinks he has lost it; Arthur serves on a jury.