In desperation to get with the beautiful and popular Cleopatra, Abe Lincoln is hoping to make a move on her at JFK’s party. JFK, however, also has the hots for her and will only let Abe come on the condition that he brings the beer. Meanwhile, Joan of Arc, who is trying to win Abe’s heart, starts up a Teen Crisis Hotline in an attempt to impress him with her commitment to community service; their mutual friend, Gandhi, who accidentally agrees to help with the hotline, forwards the calls to his cell phone so he can go to the party. All the while, Principal Scudworth and Mr. Butlertron attempt to crash the party so as to better understand the students.